Bootleg this

Bootleg media is funny. We were recently watching the first season of Ugly Betty. The main menu for the disc features a photo of the entire cast with the large title “Ungly Betty.” Really? Unlike the legions of lawyers interested in the copyright standards, I have found myself highly amused by the copywrite standards of some of these bootlegs being sold on the street.

Recently my fascination with bootleg print copy has led me to the following query: Can words make you feel drunk? And I mean physically simulate that sense of staring forward while the room is spinning a bit and people are talking and just enough of it makes sense that you are sure you are hearing English and it is getting all f*ed up in your central processor, thanks to the recent tequila bath. To this end, we share with you the word-for-word plot summary on the back of a Chinese sponsored bootleg copy of the third season of Desperate Housewives, which of course we would never purchase, being law abiding citizens.

Wisteria lived in the street so a group of housewives: Possession of fourchildren as a child and a husband general Strongwoman Lena Te; always keep the situation of single mothers Susan; always spick-and-span appearance Britten; have to give up marriage and the cause of the derailment but before offering Jiaburuier. Their life seems perfect, but I do not know why always unruffled. Mary suicide story from the gunfire began. In which a shot after a series of seemingly impossible conspiracy and the murder took place in these seemingly ordinary housewife around. Do they cause, family, emotional what should we do?

I am drawn to this paragraph like the verbal equivalent of those damn dot pictures, where if you cross your eyes and weave around stupidly in front of it you are eventually supposed to be able to see a sailboat. I keep reading thinking I will somehow be able to discern the grammatical rules of Chinese by looking at the patterns, and that will somehow make the whole thing make sense.

But mostly, I just want to know what a Jiaburuier is. It appears to correspond to a Chinese character that looks like a capital J with a mustache. Those with theories should feel free to post them here.